Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day takes place today, October 15, 2013. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death, which includes but is not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn.
We have 4 living children and 1 on the way, yet this is my 9th pregnancy. I have lost 4. We did not name any.
Baby #1 was lost around Oct/Nov 2004. It was our 1st pregnancy and with me being so naive didn't think a loss could even happen. I sent out pregnancy announcement cards and within a few weeks sent out a baby loss card. One of the more hurtful memories about that loss was a family member saying that I had actually gotten an abortion.
Baby #5 was lost in May 2010. I experienced contraction like cramping on a Monday and went to that dreaded Ultrasound to find no heartbeat. I was awaiting the actual miscarriage to happen when we got into a car accident that totaled our car and initiated the miscarriage process. I was in the ER waiting room when my body went through the process.
Baby #6 was lost in August 2010. We were on vacation in Hawaii when I started bleeding. I bled so much that I fainted in a public bathroom...I had lost so much blood that I needed a blood transfusion. I don't remember the unit measure used for blood transfusion but I received 3 of those units. I was in bed for most of the time we were in Hawaii. I was actually thankful we were with family at that time because if we were in New Jersey, I would have had to go through that time by myself while 3 little ones were home with me. I was so weak from the loss of blood that I couldn't even stand.
Baby #8 was lost in April 2012. It was an unexpected pregnancy, one that took me awhile to accept because Baby #7 was practically still a newborn. When I lost the baby I felt so much guilt because I thought God was punishing me for not accepting the gift He gave me. I had to work through a lot of guilt and remember that God is a loving God and not a spiteful God.
Through these losses the Lord has increased my faith and He has reminded me that He is Sovereign, He is loving, He is faithful, He is God, He is hope, He is good, etc...I am thankful for who God is because with His comfort and His promises, we were able to get through these losses with hope.
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