Last night a friend was over with his daughter and he shared that he hollered at his little 2 year old. The comment he made after that was, "I don't know if it was wrong or right to yell at her, but it got the job done. Yelling at her caused enough shock that she stopped doing what she wasn't supposed to be doing." As a mommy who has struggled with anger, I know how just a taste of temptation can grow into a huge sin and I have learned that the ends do not justify the means. That's how this struggle started with me...I yelled at my first born when she was a little toddler and her behavior was modified. She stopped doing what she wasn't supposed to be doing. It then became easier to yell over disciplining because after all she was doing what I wanted her to do. In time, my once in awhile yelling turned into a sinful struggle and 8 years later I am now working to overcome this terrible sin. In the meanwhile, my children's heart issues were not addressed and we are now having to overcome the sinful heart issues that have grown in our children. Below is a post I wrote about a year ago about not growing weary of doing good, particularly in the area of parenting. It speaks about our responsibility as parents to be faithful in teaching our children what pleases the Lord even if they don't get it yet. At this time, when your little toddlers' hearts can't be reached and our main task all the time is correcting their behavior, it is still important that we as parents respond in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. And I want to encourage this now because you respond by what you have been practicing and if you practice an angry and sinful response when they are little, that will be your natural response when the children get older. If you practice a godly response even when your children are little, when they get older, your natural response will be a godly response. When the children are older, it's even more important to respond in a Christ like manner because that's when their hearts can actually be reached.
THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET IT YET
(Originally written on July 2, 2012)
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 ESV
I've had the opportunity to sit one on one with a few moms with little ones and the one thing I found in common between all of us is our issue with anger. In fact, anger issues are such a common struggle in moms that a speaker at a homeschooling convention thought it was important enough to address it as a seminar at the convention. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to hear more about the contents of the seminar. Perhaps that was good so that the Lord could reveal to me what He wants me to learn and I think I've got it.
I am a helper in Sunday School for the 2 & 3 year olds class. I help keep the kids in line while the teacher teaches her lessons. On occasion the teacher will say to me, "I wonder if they're getting it." And I usually say, "Yes, because Evangeline tells me her story when she gets home." However, one Sunday, the kids were really acting up in class. They crawled under the table, got out of their seats and walked around, and acted like typical 2 & 3 year olds. I kept bringing the kids back to their seats while the teacher kept on teaching the lesson about lying. Later that day, my little 3 year old told a lie. Ha, she didn't get the story in Sunday School. But I did. I heard the story and now I have God's Word in the palm of my hand to reteach this little one over and over and over again that lying is not pleasing to the Lord.
My struggle with anger comes from the expectation that my little ones should get it NOW. I've taught Evangeline that lying is wrong, so why did she lie again? Doesn't she get it? Don't I get it? If I, as a Christian mommy, who has a relationship with Jesus, still sin against Him, how do I not get that my children, who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus WILL sin? How do I not get that this time is for ME to OBEY, not my children. God calls ME to train my children up in the Lord and He calls ME to not grow weary of doing good. And His promise is that in due season we will reap if we do not give up. Mommies, love God more and keep seeking His Word and then teach what is pleasing to Him to your children over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. In due season and in His time you will reap the reward of your faithfulness.
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